The only thing I knew with absolute certainty was that I would never see him or talk to him again. I wasn’t emotional about that; I was bewildered, I was numb. It was surreal. For 53 years, Dad had always been there.

Excerpt from HIS ACHING SHADOW

…I vividly recall the intense distress I felt driving around looking for Dad. He wasn’t at the parks. Our son and friends were driving around trying to spot his car and they couldn’t locate him. I was so greatly affected, panicked and frightened…

Excerpt from HIS ACHING SHADOW

My Mum did not deserve this. My Dad didn’t need to die, and he certainly didn’t need to commit suicide. He ended up letting us all down in such a final, no-going-back way. That said, what he did was incredibly brave.

Excerpt from HIS ACHING SHADOW

It remains some source of comfort that we exchanged those words, but one’s mind plays tricks… am I really remembering that correctly? If I am – and I am certain I am – did he say that to me because he knew what he was going to do?

Excerpt from HIS ACHING SHADOW

I know what it is to feel that there is no hope. I know what it is to feel totally defeated and helpless. I know what sitting back, observing your own life and realising that you no longer contribute positively to any aspect of it which involves others, feels like.

Excerpt from HIS ACHING SHADOW